Only if

(whoa there sissy!! you..jealous..of..*me*? aiyooo....what lah!!??

I do get what you mean though, you know how Grandma is, the one that is not there is always better..with me it was always Uti this, Uti that..and I was thinking the same, she;s not here anymore now is she? no offense to Uti though..

anyhoo, that being intimate with God thing was like what, 3 years ago? that time I pandai cakap je..lol.. not that i'm being horrible, but I wouldn't pay her any mind, you know how she is..don't let her get to you although she has knack for doing that. Just let it go..ps, you are naive, and for most times, I'm so glad for that. It makes you who you are and I love you for that. And I'd admit this, I like my sisters' innocence :). I wish you were here..and I wish that I could go home for a bit just to relief you, I know you're being burden with all the responsibility now. I'm sorry..

Ps, I do notice the other stuff that you are..You crack me up with your humour, you're amazingly tender-hearted, up to the point that it sometimes drives me crazy because you get your heart broken time and time again, you're so pretty and smart eventhough you just don't bother putting effort into it just because you don't want to live up to other's expectations which is a constant hurt to you, you're a rebel, you want to fit in and yet you don't, you're unique, one of a kind, you're sweet, sarcastic and witty when you want to, you can get me to laugh and angry in the same minute, you make me go crazy with worry at other times, not to mention exasperated.

I know I've never said this to you before (verbally) because our family just don't do verbal communication as you can see the consequences of it, thank you mom & dad, and I plan to break that cycle, I love you Sara. (see, everything in a whole sentence wei..lol) k, i'll stop now, didn't plan of shedding tears when I started writting this. And honestly, do you ever check your email?? I wouldn't be making a fool out of myself publicly by writting this on a freaking blog, yours at that, if you actually write to me.)

Just finish reading it from Sarra's May 30th comment. It was from her sister- Sabrina. I was so touched while reading through it. How nice would it be only if my sister wrote something to me. I will definitely touched, touched and touched. I really hope to hear something that's in my sister's heart and mind. I miss her a lot..

** Btw, sorry sara and sab for making this as a post!!