One after Another

Exam’s gone, hooray for that, but I’m going waste all my money, because I can’t work yet. I’ll be very boring, plus I’m addicted to internet now. So what else? I’ll definitely go to the cyber café and waste RM6 almost every time I online as my house ones is out of credit.

Today is the day I’m free from any books! I should be very happy, but what can I do? I’m not rich enough to go shopping. I wanted to bake a cake but I can’t find a recipe book. I’m watching a Taiwan drama now, but I have to wait for my mom so that we can save electric bill.

Four persons that I care are busy with their own stuff. One has gone to KL for interview, another one need to work at night from 6-10, so she sleeps a lot during the day. Then another two, one busy with church, and another one busy with camp, temple camp. Ha-ha, 2 busy with work, 2 busy with religious stuff, and I, stay at home looking at the 4 walls. What a group of lovely friends..

Whatever it is, I’m still upset with my Chinese test. I don’t want to take the test but forced to. Now, I’m not sure I can get a B o C. I’m afraid that I’ll get a D. then my result will look ugly. After SPM is over, I can feel that getting 6As is very difficult. I hate myself very much that I played too much before and during the exam. All I have to do now is dream. Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream… There goes the song.

Now, I wonder whether life is interesting. I look like useless wood that stay at home doing nothing, waiting for people to give money. However, I suddenly thought of something that makes life interesting- Music, yea… music. My baby sitter, Anta wants to buy me a radio after she knows that it was ‘dead’. Unlike my sister, not even a sorry from her.

This is my 6th paragraph, sounds interesting right? I think this is my longest post ever. Sad to say, my grammatical error didn’t improve at all. Just got a call from Malacca, listening to a ‘long time no see’ aunt who caused trouble once in Tampin until I failed my physics. Headache came again as I don’t know whether I should buy a x’mas present for them or not. If I buy, maybe I’ll get scolding from the elder ones. If I don’t buy, I’ll feel bad. Is all because of the adults that made things so complicated until we, the children unautomatically get involved. “I’ll have a blue x’mas without you…” I think she will sing this song. Huh? What am I talking about? Isn’t that she’s a kind of person who will never regret? Causing so many troubles to the innocent and feel that we ‘throw’ her away… what is this all about?

Walau A, I really can’t imagine what is going to happen this x’mas. Can I get a sweet x’mas? I don’t want a bitter one any more. Perhaps, I remembered the bitter x’mas that I’d went through very well as it hurts everyone very much. My baby sitter (Tampin) almost packed her clothes and go to old folks home. She’s sick at that time, but my god ma fired my god pa up by telling all nonsense stuff. stupid is all I can say. I even hate them for not appreciating and respecting the older one. Plus, I have to be fake in front of them to show them that I’m well mannered. Covering up my straight forward attitude is harder than asking me to die. However, I’d made it--being a fake person in front of fake people. Life is not interesting at all…Everyone is an actor or actress, nobody is ‘real’. Every thought, every word, and every action are controlled by the director whose name is Mr. Fake.

Ah-ha, guess this is my longest post by now. I should go for a English course to improve my sucks English. I will also go for a piano class although it maybe lat for 6 months only. I want to do what I like to do; I won’t care so much about what others will say right now. Doing what you want to do and being the real you is the most important thing to live a better and more colourful life.