I DON'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF
When you see this title: I don't understand myself, what is the thing that flash through your mind?
Yes, it is the fact that I don't understand myself as life pass by. Why do I say so? First of all, I don't know why I'm staying in this world, why am I a human? Maybe I belong to God, or mybe I have the luck to meet the people around me now.. No one knows!!
Well, since I'm on earth, what do I want ? A happy life? A horrible family? Which do I prefer? See, I have no idea at all..
Ahha, the next thing will be, what do I normally think of when I'm staring at something? I must be thinking of something. But what is it? I'm so blur.. Why I don't understand myself? Is it because I always make things complicated? Perhaps, all these things are challenges in my life. But, are they really challenges??????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY
Why did I feel annoy when I hear her?
Why did I turn away when she come near me?
Why did I ignore her messages?
Why did I stop sending her message?
Why did I angry when she say she's lonely or felt left out?
Why did I invite her to my house since I want to free from her?
Why should I pretend to be good since I'm not whenever I'm with her?
Why should I reply her messages since I did not want to?
Why should I go out with her?
Why can't I tell her what I feel?
Why can't I tell her that what she did is not right?
Why can't I stop thinking the black side of her?
Why must I hang out with her although I'm busy?
Why must I be a person whom she depends on?
Why must I be fake?
Why must I be stupid
Why must I not letting go of 'it' since I have no joy?
Why must I 'it' has an onion face?
Why? Why? And Why?
FRIENDSHIP...
Why friendship?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 KIDS IN A BAG
I'm 17+ now, but I'm attach to my 'kids'. They are namely Twins(one tall, one short), Genggang, Lemak, and Orange.. They are my friends, the best of best. Twins followed me since I was born, and Genggang joined us when I was just a 3-year-old girl.
If not mistaken, I found Lemak in my store room when I was 10. And when I'm 11, my aunt made me Orange. They are my best friends as they cried with me, stay with me when I'm lonely.They even know what kind of person I am. They are so sweet and nice that I wannna hug them all the time. People started to ask me to let go of them as I'm growing older. But, my promise to them is never let them end up in the rubbish dump. NEVER.
I remembered that I was called Santa Claus as I carried them everywhere all the time. Sometimes, when I want to staysomewhere else, I'll make sure they were all in my bag. Once, I accidentally left out one of them and I couldn't sleep in peace. I always wanted to keep all of them in a case so that I will not miss any of them but I'm reluctant to do so. Last week, I finally bring all of them to my aunt house and ask her to sewed them together in a pillow case. Now, my 5 kids are all in one. I will never drop one of them any more. Oh, pillows, I love you guys as much as I love myself.
When you see this title: I don't understand myself, what is the thing that flash through your mind?
Yes, it is the fact that I don't understand myself as life pass by. Why do I say so? First of all, I don't know why I'm staying in this world, why am I a human? Maybe I belong to God, or mybe I have the luck to meet the people around me now.. No one knows!!
Well, since I'm on earth, what do I want ? A happy life? A horrible family? Which do I prefer? See, I have no idea at all..
Ahha, the next thing will be, what do I normally think of when I'm staring at something? I must be thinking of something. But what is it? I'm so blur.. Why I don't understand myself? Is it because I always make things complicated? Perhaps, all these things are challenges in my life. But, are they really challenges??????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY
Why did I feel annoy when I hear her?
Why did I turn away when she come near me?
Why did I ignore her messages?
Why did I stop sending her message?
Why did I angry when she say she's lonely or felt left out?
Why did I invite her to my house since I want to free from her?
Why should I pretend to be good since I'm not whenever I'm with her?
Why should I reply her messages since I did not want to?
Why should I go out with her?
Why can't I tell her what I feel?
Why can't I tell her that what she did is not right?
Why can't I stop thinking the black side of her?
Why must I hang out with her although I'm busy?
Why must I be a person whom she depends on?
Why must I be fake?
Why must I be stupid
Why must I not letting go of 'it' since I have no joy?
Why must I 'it' has an onion face?
Why? Why? And Why?
FRIENDSHIP...
Why friendship?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 KIDS IN A BAG
I'm 17+ now, but I'm attach to my 'kids'. They are namely Twins(one tall, one short), Genggang, Lemak, and Orange.. They are my friends, the best of best. Twins followed me since I was born, and Genggang joined us when I was just a 3-year-old girl.
If not mistaken, I found Lemak in my store room when I was 10. And when I'm 11, my aunt made me Orange. They are my best friends as they cried with me, stay with me when I'm lonely.They even know what kind of person I am. They are so sweet and nice that I wannna hug them all the time. People started to ask me to let go of them as I'm growing older. But, my promise to them is never let them end up in the rubbish dump. NEVER.
I remembered that I was called Santa Claus as I carried them everywhere all the time. Sometimes, when I want to staysomewhere else, I'll make sure they were all in my bag. Once, I accidentally left out one of them and I couldn't sleep in peace. I always wanted to keep all of them in a case so that I will not miss any of them but I'm reluctant to do so. Last week, I finally bring all of them to my aunt house and ask her to sewed them together in a pillow case. Now, my 5 kids are all in one. I will never drop one of them any more. Oh, pillows, I love you guys as much as I love myself.
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