Bad Sister

I'm a bad sister, I disappointed my one and only sister, the sister I always like to complain about but respect in silence, the sister that I always miss a lot but I kept all in my heart, the sister I love to hang out together just me and her.. The sister that I will support everything she does indirectly because I just don't want her to know.. Yea,  That's the sister that I love the most.. The sister that share the biological parents with me...

But too bad, I disappointed her, I did stuff that she is not happy with because she felt that this decision that I made may lead me to suicide one day. She is the one and only person that always giving me advices whenever I'm in agony, she's the one always waking me up when I'm living in my dreamland, she brought me to realistic, she cared for me so much she LOVES me as much as I LOVE her, but I just like accusing that she changed a lot since she had a boyfriend. The gap that I felt between us grew further each day.

Now, I really made her so worried, and yet I think she hates me, I'm so ungrateful, But how am I to decide? One is the sister I love so much, 1 is my boyfriend that I can't let go.. If I would have to choose one of them, who should I pick? What should I do to hurt no one? I don't wanna be a bad girlfriend nor a bad sister, I just hope time can cleanse all these so that I may not have to be so persecuted in deciding what is best for all..